By Arthia Nixon
Every now and again, your inner Elsa comes out and you build an ice palace. If you ask me, her mistake was to build a bridge and front door to the palace for people to assume they have an open invitation to waltz on in anytime they want.
There is nothing wrong with being cold now and again and shutting people out in order to protect them for you and to protect you from yourself. Some alone time is necessary to reflect, restructure and simply take time out for you.
While watching ‘Frozen’ the other night, I found myself suddenly relating to Elsa. Even though there may be a kingdom to run, if you have more pressing issues that require your immediate attention, let them go and fix you first before adding more to your plate than you need to have at the moment. You may seem cool and collective at the ball but all of a sudden, you need to take a breather in order to be effective and you have to put your icy foot down and warn people to back up. You nicely warn folks to back up and repeat it if they didn’t understand the urgency in your voice. Suddenly, you’re the frigid ice brat for throwing an ice blast their way when they likely ignored the signs you feel you clearly displayed. It’s not until hypothermia sets in do they realize, damn it’s really cold!
Communication is something that takes people years to figure out. Some people need silence to work in. Some people don’t want to be included in things. Some people just want to be frozen and cold in order to eventually melt at their own pace.
Even when you offer an apology or an explanation in good faith, you may encounter those who don’t understand the pressure you are under will see you as being difficult and intentionally trying to stir up contention.
The other day we talked about falling back in order to move ahead. The person who benefits most when you fall back to move ahead is you. So once in awhile, don’t feel guilty for your building your ice palace and freezing up. Take a moment to defrost when you need to and do not attempt to tackle more than you need to at once. Immediately say, “Hey I can’t do this right now”. It’s better to give your best with something rather than provide a fraction of what you are capable of. You know your time, talent, and what you can afford to focus on (or in some cases pay for), more than anyone else.